5 Ways to Blend into Paris like a Parisien

Travelling to any country, sometimes you just want to blend in and not look like a tourist, you want to live the local way and pretend to know what you are doing. In Paris this can be quite hard, especially if you have limited French language, but here's a few tips that might help.

1. Ignore everyone and keep walking - Don't say hi as you pass someone, wave or acknowledge people in the street, they will think your crazy and be scared of you. 

2. Drive like a maniac, whilst smoking, banging on the horn, cutting in front of other cars, tailgating and yelling a few learnt insults out the window.

3. Dress up an extra level -if you would normally wear a singlet -wear a t-shirt, if you would normally wear a t-shirt wear a shirt, if you would normally wear a shirt wear a suit, if you would normally wear a suit wear a tuxedo, if you normally wear a tuxedo you'll be ok.

4. Don't just wake up with a positive attitude jump out of bed and get ready to have the best day ever. Remember you need to question and contemplate life, I'm sure yours could be better, and the pollution and traffic is abominable, not to mention the crowds of tourists everywhere...merde!

5. Find your favourite corner side Bistro/Bar/Brasserie -In the morning -sit around talking and smoking and drink coffee whilst dunking a croissant; at lunch sit around talking and smoking whilst eating a 3 course meal with bread and wine; in the afternoon sit around talking and smoking with a coffee and patisserie; in the evening sit around talking and smoking whilst having an aperitif, at night sit around talking and smoking whilst having dinner and drinking wine; late at night sit around drinking and smoking with intermittent dancing whilst drinking hard liquor; for the rest of the night drink, smoke and make love to your nearest neighbour/friend/stranger (of course this part can be placed intermittently between the other time slots). ** For the lone traveller -just follow the above steps whilst looking morosely yet intently at your phone/book/laptop/newspaper, or if you dont have any props just stare vacantly with occasional muttering and postering**

Well if you follow these five easy steps for your next trip to Paris you will definitely blend into the Paris streets like a local - enjoy :) JT